Day 8 of 21

Well it has been a few days since I have written, I guess that's because I have just been too busy feeling good. I finally got settled in to my new place and bought some groceries. What a difference that has made!

I am now enjoying gluten free rice chex with blueberries and almond milk every morning for breakfast. I will switch that up soon, but I'm happy with it for now. Lots of fresh veggies and fruit throughout the day, delicious salads, nuts (sans pecans and walnuts since they seem to send me into an allergic fit), and a treat of gluten free dairy free organic fair trade dark chocolate here and there. :) I've also fallen in love with those yummy little clementines that are everywhere right now. I need to add more protein, but I will get there.

The combination of consistently climbing 3 days a week, taking the thyroid supplement, and avoiding gluten and dairy finally has my body feeling "right". I feel stronger, I'm sleeping better (falling asleep fast and not waking up at all until morning) and my formerly tortured tummy feels "clean". One thing I was afraid of going in to this is the amount of time it takes to prepare food to have with me (slicing and packing veggies, making salads, etc.)While it does take more time than grabbing something on the go, or throwing some processed frozen item in the microwave - I'm actually quite enjoying the time. I'm a caretaker by nature, that often neglects my own needs... So as I chop cucumbers and package blueberries and slivered almonds for the day - it feels really good to take care of me... Self-nurturance, self-care, it's a powerful thing.

Day 4 of 21

So far, I've talked a lot about the struggle to find food I can eat. But I wanted to jot down a quick update on how I'm actually feeling without gluten and dairy in my life. While I do realize it takes a full 21 days to clean up my system, I am certainly already noticing a difference in my good ol' gut. I was surprised the other day after eating when I realized my stomach felt full, but not FULL. I've gotten very used to this feeling that somebody had backed up a cement truck and poured a patio in my gut just about every time I ate. I guess I just felt like that was the alternative to a growling tummy. Crazy now, not feeling that way after I eat. In addition to the lack of heaviness in my gut, I feel as though it's almost stretched out or lengthened... not on the outside, I know my torso has not lengthened, although that would be great? What can I not eat to make my legs longer?

Anyway, all of that being said - I can't deny there is a connection. I know there is always a relationship between what we eat and how we feel. But, beyond that, I'm becoming convinced that I may actually have a legitimate reaction or sensitivity to this stuff I'm now avoiding. Not too thrilled about the lifetime ramifications of this discovery... But will remain motivated by feeling good. Tomorrow between work and class I just might buy some groceries. That will be good.

Day 3 of 21

Woah. Not a good day in the GF/DF world of me. Breakfast was good. GF Rice Chex and Almond Milk. Very good. Off to church I went. Had some fruit at church, then didn't eat again until 9:00pm tonight... Another bowl of Chex which I chased with some blueberries. I had to go to the old apartment to clean and finish packing the garage. Didn't plan on being there for 7 hours, but that's how long it took. I did stumble upon some Beef Jerky and Trail Mix from a road trip earlier in the week and was so hungry I decided to give it a try. Instantly I had intense heart burn, and my stomach and chest felt like they were turning inside out. What the? I'm experiencing this first-hand and it's hard for me to believe. After cleaning I went to Fresh N' Easy. Walked every aisle and couldn't find anything I could eat without a lot of preparation. And since I am currently couch surfing with none of my own kitchen stuff - I walked out empty handed and returned to the comfort of those Rice Chex. Grateful for those!

Yesterday wasn't much better. Chex in the morning... packing, loading, and unloading, then In N' Out AGAIN at 4:30. Didn't want to In N' Out again, but wasn't sure what else to do on the go. Went with some friends to a movie. One brought fresh baked cookies - so I went over to Starbucks. And got a Raw Bar. GF/DF, but sent me flyin' to Target for Benadryl. Swollen throat and tongue on fire. Now what? I'm suspecting the pecans and walnuts, or possibly the natural spices.

Not digging the tone of this blog so far... I do trust it's going to get better! I'm going to soon have a place to put food... then I will buy... then I will plan... then I will discover great things, feel good, and maybe even offer some help to someone who's a a step or two behind where I am.

Right now, though, I am just hungry. Looking forward to some Rice Chex in the morning. :)

Day 2 of 21

It's now been about 48 hours... and really it hasn't been all that bad. I went to work yesterday prepared and made myself a yummy breakfast. Two eggs (straight from my friend's chickens), a bell pepper and spinach. I intended to eat 2 clementines, but when I peeled them they didn't look quite right so I couldn't hack it. Normally I would put feta in my eggs, but I left that out and it was still delicious. For lunch I had a Glutenfreeda burrito and it was also surprisingly delicious. I enjoyed some sweet potato chips as well.These are a favorite. So yum! Later in the afternoon, I decided to try a Nana's cookie. BAD IDEA. My stomach was mostly fine, but I began to itch like crazy! It was most intense on my wrist hands and face. What the? No relief until I popped a Benadryl. I'm suspecting the "natural flavorings" or cinnamon. I know I react to nutmeg... so?

Dinner was when it got a little frustrating. I am in the process of moving and was starving. Had no food on hand (nor unpacked pots and pans). I asked a GF/DF friend and she let me know I could get a protein style burger and fries at In'N'Out. Sweet. Turns out the only item there with gluten is the buns, and if you let them know you have an allergy they are very careful about cross-contamination. I don't love the calorie count, but needed food, and felt fine afterward.

Today was quite frustrating as well, but I will write about that tomorrow.

Major lessons learning now:

1. Preparation/Planning is essential
2. Friends who have "gone before" are a God-send
3. This is not easy to do while moving

I'm not loving the amount of packaged/processed stuff I'm eating. This is out of the norm for me - so I am definitely looking forward to getting settled, getting some groceries making my own stuff.

Day 1 of 21

Here we go.

Today begins my first day of at least 21 days of gluten and dairy free living. It may seem crazy that anyone would choose this path... I am a little crazy, but hopefully that has nothing to do with this. I am gradually coming to terms with the fact that this path may have been chosen for me. Grrr... But, I am finally listening to my body and trying to honor what it's telling me. Yay!

For some time I (and those around me) have suspected possible thyroid issues. My energy level is unpredictable, my sleep patterns are completely wacky, I struggle to achieve a healthy weight (in spite of the fact that I eat a low calorie diet, drink lots of water, and am very active) my skin is constantly begging for lotion, and I seem to be cold when most normal people are warm (especially my hands). Even a four-year-old said to me the other day, "Ewika, why aw you always cold when I am wa-wum?"

Additionally, I have been noticing a lot of "issues" after eating certain foods (like those containing dairy and gluten to be exact - so basically after eating anything and everything). I get severe heart burn, stomach-cramping, a general feeling of ick, and the sensation that someones foot has landed between my ribs and stayed there... among other things.

I have a few close friends that live gluten and/or dairy free so I've become somewhat familiar with the whole blessed thing. A couple of these women who have a very strong voice in my life suggested I get rid of this potential poison to my system... so I'm going for it. Along with changing what I'm eating, I've also started a natural supplement by Gaia called Thyroid Support. (Apparently gluten intolerance, and thyroid issues are related).

Along the way, for my own tracking and in the hopes of helping others, I plan to keep a log of what I'm eating, and what I am noticing in my body. I am sure my little experiment won't be perfect, but if nothing else it will be an exercise in will and creativity, and an opportunity to learn.

I will not only be honest about my physical experience along the way, I will explore my current anxiety related to the social implications of this lifestyle (how do I go out to eat with people? how can I not feel like a burden if going to someones house for a meal? how will I deal with my whole issue of not wanting to draw attention to myself especially when it comes to food/body? and what about cross-contamination??? and now I'm dating, so the last thing I want to be to this sweet man is high-maintenance or complicated! ahhhh!) There is also some resource-related anxiety (do I have the time and energy to put this much thought and preparation into everything that goes into my belly? Can I afford it? gluten-free stuff is freaking expensive!)

But the truth is, if my body is responding to these things as poison, and sending little army men to attack my intestines - I can't really afford to not do this. Bigger than all of the anxieties, I am looking forward to taking charge of this part of me. I'm looking forward to becoming a more mindful eater. I'm looking forward to the possibility of being healthier, and feeling better...

So... Here we go!

Update

In roughly 24 days, I will be back on the road returning to California. Praise the Lord!

The only thing God showed me going into this season was that it would be temporary.... And Hallelu to the jah that it is! Surprisingly enough I am heading back to San Diego. An offer came virtually out of nowhere while I was just beginning to feel some solid clarity about the desires God has placed in my heart and it all lines up! In spite of how difficult this season has been, I can look back and say with gratitude that it has all made sense. God is good.

I've accepted a position as Life Development Pastor at a church called Grace. It's an old church going in a new direction, and I am in love with the vision God has given our Pastor (Tim Scott). I am excited for the opportunity to both be in a position that is a fit for how I'm made, but also in a position that will be a challenge and hold huge opportunity for growth. The heart, the pace, the personalities, it is all such a fit. I adore, Tim, Kimberly, their amazing kids, and I am looking forward to getting to know their team and the people of Grace.

I am so excited to be back in full time ministry. I am so excited to abandon this feeling of living someone else's life... but again grateful for the clarity that has brought. I am so blown away by God's love and leadership.

I am also grateful for EastLake Church and the great relationships that are very dear to my heart - and we get to do life together again! I am grateful for what I learned at EastLake... and how we will continue to partner in ministry to help people in San Diego find and follow Jesus Christ. I am grateful that Mike is great leader and that he has been involved in this process. We are on the same team - God's Kingdom team... And that makes it so fun to explore our next best steps in life and in ministry.

Over the past 6 months God has afforded me the opportunity to spend some very important moments with my family. Personally, I have had some major ups, and some major downs... honestly mostly downs... but I have learned to not despise the valley. It is there that we find passages of intimacy with Christ. It is there, in our desperation for Him, that He shows up - and right when we need it gives us a clear picture of who He is and who we are. He leads us... God is so incredibly faithful. We can trust Him when it doesn't make sense. We can rely on Him even when we question whether or not He is there. Because HE IS. It is so easy to become overwhelmed by the temporary, but God operates in the eternal. His plan is so much greater than what we can see. And He is so, so good... When we walk with Him, He gives us the desires of our hearts. Trust Him.

My friends in San Diego, I will see you soon!

Riding the Wave

I remember reading in one of Rick Warren's purpose books about the importance of riding the wave. He compared churches or people (can't remember which book it was) to surfers who recognize that they can not create the waves, they simply have to trust in the wave maker, watch for the waves and ride them.

That metaphor is very vivid in my head as I am moving forward in this season of my life. It is so wonderful to just rest in the presence of God and ride the wave. As I am riding now I am overcome by the peace and privilege that is found in it all. I love it when you can clearly sense God leading... it's such a better feeling than when I'm forcing, creating, planning, analyzing, or trying to make it happen. As I stand where I stand now, I can truly say I feel like I am just riding a wave that the maker has made. It is so peaceful in this place. I love it... Who'd have thought - I don't know where the wave is leading for sure. I can't see the big picture. I don't know much. I just know I'm riding a wave I didn't create... and I love it.