Something I am learning about myself is that I am extremely uncomfortable making decisions in isolation. Not feeling like I can weigh all of the options before I have to step nearly paralyzes me. And I am not sure whether or not that's ok. As I look back and as I look ahead, I realize that rather than allowing opportunities to follow decisions in my life (for the most part) I use the opportunities that are unfolding as "clues" to the bigger picture, or as elements of possible direction... and those opportunities drive my decision making process.
Right now I am facing a huge decision. I have also been made aware that there are some potential opportunities, but the one to offer them does not want to reveal them until I have made the bigger decision. This is killing me! How can I make the big decision without knowing all of the alternatives? Am I backwards? In some ways I agree that the big decision should trump any other possibility. However, as I look at what might be the big picture, what if these other opportunities more effectively get me to that destination... or what if there is some kind of both/ and?
I am having a hard time deciding: do I want to do X or not? Period. It would be much more natural for me to say: I could do X, Y, or Z - which one makes the most sense? which one is from God? etc. And knowing that a Y and Z exist... I just won't know what they would be until I decide X is not an option... may just drive me insane! But are there times in life when you just have to look at X and not compare it to anything but X?
aaaaagawagagagagagagaagagahhahahahaaaa!
2 comments:
Erika, Its Josh Dominguez =). I hope you have people out there that you can talk to about these options. Making decisions in isolation can be good also because the only voice to be heard is Gods.
Anyways,I liked reading this post because it hits home with me in many ways as Im sure it relates with so many others. I wish there were simple answers. I always compare serving God with serving in the military.
In the military you get ordered to go here or there no questions asked..With God he'll send us here or there, but the "orders" aren't always so clear..although I wish they were.
I'll be praying for you this week, I know God will direct your thinking. We miss you over here at Eastlake, I know youre doing an awesome job out there!
Sounds like you have a crazy dilemma... I think this is a true test of your trust in God. God never reveals the whole plan until after...like, we may not see God's full plan until after the fact. Someone said this to me a few weeks ago: "If you follow God's will, you will automatically see the blessings in your life." I know this to be true in my own life...once I follow God's will everything seems to fall into place.
Making the decision is hard, but just sitting and tuning into God's voice to our life can be even harder.
However, I do know that God gives us choices, and He can use us in either situation.
I'll be praying for you, sounds like a pretty big decision, I'll be praying for your discernment...and wisdom... love ya!
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